Dealing with difficult colleagues

In any organisation there is bound to be the occasional flare-up between staff members. You work in close proximity – often under pressure – and your different personalities, values and histories can contribute to misunderstandings and dissent. How often do you find yourself complaining about a colleague and wishing they would behave differently? Instead of complaining, make it your mission to deal with office politics and difficult colleagues in a calm and mature fashion. Here’s how.

Talk it out

Poor communication is the biggest barrier to healthy relationships. Speak up when there is a problem and take your complaint to the person concerned first, rather than discussing it with everyone else in the office. Calmly explain your position and remember to focus on the situation or behaviour that is bothering you, rather than attacking the person’s character. The sooner you address an issue, the better – there will be less build-up of tension and less time and energy wasted on feeling annoyed or resentful.

Don’t play the blame game

Sometimes the person who needs to change, is you. Instead of playing the victim and complaining about the other person’s shortcomings, consider the role you may be playing in keeping the conflict alive. Why do certain situations or particular people annoy you so much? For example, perhaps you have an issue with authority dating back to harsh treatment in childhood. If you don’t acknowledge this sensitivity, you are likely to overreact to any managerial decision, however reasonable, because it triggers deep-seated anger and emotion from your past. Gaining insight into your own functioning makes you more aware of what pushes your buttons and why, allowing you to distinguish your personal hang-ups from the situation at hand. This will hopefully provide you with the perspective needed to respond more constructively in future.

Make integrity your goal

Every day there are scores of situations that threaten your peace of mind. You can let these events ruin your day or you can let them go. When gossip sweeps the corridors at work you can fuel it or step away for a moment. Ask yourself if you think the rumour is true, if you have all the facts or what harm you might do by adding to the speculation. Jealousy often rears its ugly head when someone gets an increase or a promotion. Disappointment makes it easy to get caught up in backbiting, but it’s more productive to congratulate your colleague and focus on increasing your chances of advancement in the next round.

Ultimately, the best way to get ahead in the workplace is to do an incredible job. This includes a willingness to take 100 percent responsibility for everything in which you are involved, going the extra mile when necessary and practicing integrity in your business dealings. You’ll find that when integrity is your goal, office politics and drama tend to fade into the background instead of taking centre stage in your daily work life.